I write "Theory One" partly in jest - it's not as if I'm going to have a lot theories...it's just that, well, just in case I do come up with one or two more guesses (theories), I won't have to go back and change the title of this one. Fatherhood is about planning ahead, people.
Babies cry because they don't like being babies.
While they are cute to us, imagine being a baby. You don't know what's going on most of the time. You don't know where your food comes from, how to control your hands, or how they hell you ended sitting in a poo-filled diaper...
Not to mention, you don't know who these people are who keep sticking their face in your viewing area. "People, I'm trying to see the vent. Can't you see I'm staring at the air vent? Get your Jim Carrey impression-making face out of the way!"
The confusion, really, has to be the toughest part of being a baby. One minute you're on your back in a bed-like area. The next minute? Hoisted into the air, pants ripped off, and someone wiping your junk with a wet cloth.
And how do you know if that's a different wet cloth than the time before?
That type of confusion - that can cause a lot of crying.
Seriously.
Saturday, March 29, 2014
Saturday, March 22, 2014
Two Month Milestones
Today, the baby boy turned two months old.
Some milestones so far include:
-Stares at hands
-Stares at feet
-Smiles
-Coos (Cooes?)
-Makes pterodactyl squealing sounds (according to New Mom)
-Makes sounds like he's mimicking our voices
-Cries louder than before, sometimes with a high-pitch wail thrown in there for good measure
-Sleeps 3 to 3 1/2 hour stretches every once in a while, mostly starting at 7pm, which is great for dinner, but not so great during the night when he only sleeps for 2 hours at a time...
-Getting heavier and longer...(or are we imagining this?)
We'll see. Headed to the doctor in a few days for the "two-month" checkup, which I'm pretty sure is a just shots.
And not the good kind of shots.
And by the "good kind" I mean, alcohol.
But it'll be good to ask the doctor things like, "Why does he get a bunch of rashes on his face?" and "When he stops breathing, should we worry?" and "What the heck are all these shots for?"
Things like that.
Some milestones so far include:
-Stares at hands
-Stares at feet
-Smiles
-Coos (Cooes?)
-Makes pterodactyl squealing sounds (according to New Mom)
-Makes sounds like he's mimicking our voices
-Cries louder than before, sometimes with a high-pitch wail thrown in there for good measure
-Sleeps 3 to 3 1/2 hour stretches every once in a while, mostly starting at 7pm, which is great for dinner, but not so great during the night when he only sleeps for 2 hours at a time...
-Getting heavier and longer...(or are we imagining this?)
We'll see. Headed to the doctor in a few days for the "two-month" checkup, which I'm pretty sure is a just shots.
And not the good kind of shots.
And by the "good kind" I mean, alcohol.
But it'll be good to ask the doctor things like, "Why does he get a bunch of rashes on his face?" and "When he stops breathing, should we worry?" and "What the heck are all these shots for?"
Things like that.
Saturday, March 15, 2014
Songs Sung (Poorly) to the Baby
So far, I have sung the following songs - in partial or their entirety - mostly partial, but all a capella, to one captive audience (especially when swaddled) known as our baby boy - and sometimes s fleeting wife.
This is why I recommend to all fathers-to-be to LEARN AS MANY COOL SONGS AS YOU CAN BEFORE YOU KID IS BORN.
Okay, here's the list...or at least, what I remember singing so far. I take no responsibility for songs I don't remember singing to him, though I'm sure there have been many....
THREE LITTLE BIRDS - Bob Marley
RED AND BLACK - Les Miserables
SANTARIA - Sublime
ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE - The Beatles
SITTIN' ON THE DOCK OF THE BAY - Otis Redding
DO RE MI - The Sound of Music
FELIZ NAVIDAD - Jose Feliciano (or Traditional?)
JIMMY CRACK CORN - Traditional, or so I thought...just looked it up and it turns out this is a minstrel song! (Wikipedia entry for Jimmy Crack Corn) Holy smokes! But it's actually about slaves rejoicing because their master fell and "cracked" his head open. Hmm.. That's not as bad, I suppose.. )
Of these, he's taken to "Three Little Birds" the best.
And by "taken" I mean, cries the least at.
Not sure what his mother has sung to him - as she is too shy to sing in front of me - but I'm sure it's a better list than this.
More to come, I'm sure... As well as poorly sung repeats of the songs above.
Sorry, kid!
This is why I recommend to all fathers-to-be to LEARN AS MANY COOL SONGS AS YOU CAN BEFORE YOU KID IS BORN.
Okay, here's the list...or at least, what I remember singing so far. I take no responsibility for songs I don't remember singing to him, though I'm sure there have been many....
THREE LITTLE BIRDS - Bob Marley
RED AND BLACK - Les Miserables
SANTARIA - Sublime
ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE - The Beatles
SITTIN' ON THE DOCK OF THE BAY - Otis Redding
DO RE MI - The Sound of Music
FELIZ NAVIDAD - Jose Feliciano (or Traditional?)
JIMMY CRACK CORN - Traditional, or so I thought...just looked it up and it turns out this is a minstrel song! (Wikipedia entry for Jimmy Crack Corn) Holy smokes! But it's actually about slaves rejoicing because their master fell and "cracked" his head open. Hmm.. That's not as bad, I suppose.. )
Of these, he's taken to "Three Little Birds" the best.
And by "taken" I mean, cries the least at.
Not sure what his mother has sung to him - as she is too shy to sing in front of me - but I'm sure it's a better list than this.
More to come, I'm sure... As well as poorly sung repeats of the songs above.
Sorry, kid!
Tuesday, March 11, 2014
Milestone - First Nose Pick
Today the baby boy stuck his finger in his nose for the first time.
He did it rather slyly, while he was on my shoulder, perhaps not knowing that I could catch his reflection in the nearby mirror.
Not sure where he learned how to do it, or if it's just a natural movement.
Really, I'm not sure.
Okay, I may have had a quick pick the other day...it's dry here!
He did it rather slyly, while he was on my shoulder, perhaps not knowing that I could catch his reflection in the nearby mirror.
Not sure where he learned how to do it, or if it's just a natural movement.
Really, I'm not sure.
Okay, I may have had a quick pick the other day...it's dry here!
Sunday, March 9, 2014
Baby Milestones at 6 weeks
The baby is now six and a half weeks old.
Some recent milestones include:
1. Smiling
2. Staring at his feet
For anyone who has never had a baby, I can see how that may not not sound like much...
But for those with babies, isn't that great!? :)
BABY'S FIRST SMILE
As for his first smile, I don't remember it exactly.
It was last week some time...I remember the father-in-law was over, playing with (holding) the baby, and said: "He smiled at me!" At which point I thought: "Yeah right, I look at that kid all the time, and he doesn't really smile."
But the next day (or was it the day after? Who knows, we have a (semi) newborn!) on the changing table, the boy looked at me and smiled. He had shaped his mouth in a smile-like way before, but this was different - his eyes changed in that way that happens when you smile... He was smiling with his whole face!
So maybe the father-in-law did see him smile... I'm still not convinced.
Anyhow, the boy smiles every day now, so that's great.
He also cries every day. A lot more than he smiles. Which is OK, because he's smiling now sometimes. (It was also OK before, but better now, because he smiles....)
BABY'S STARES AT FEET FOR FIRST TIME
There's really not much to say here. I'm not sure why he hadn't seen his feet before. But today he was naked with just the diaper on, and lifted his feet and looked at it. I've got some of it on video, I think, or at the very least, the wife and I talking about how he looked at his feet for the first time...
Alright, that's it for milestone(s). Time to see if we can get this kid to sleep.
Ah, sleeping more than 3 hours at a time. That's a milestone you will see on here IN ALL CAPS LIKE THIS.
Seriously.
Some recent milestones include:
1. Smiling
2. Staring at his feet
For anyone who has never had a baby, I can see how that may not not sound like much...
But for those with babies, isn't that great!? :)
BABY'S FIRST SMILE
As for his first smile, I don't remember it exactly.
It was last week some time...I remember the father-in-law was over, playing with (holding) the baby, and said: "He smiled at me!" At which point I thought: "Yeah right, I look at that kid all the time, and he doesn't really smile."
But the next day (or was it the day after? Who knows, we have a (semi) newborn!) on the changing table, the boy looked at me and smiled. He had shaped his mouth in a smile-like way before, but this was different - his eyes changed in that way that happens when you smile... He was smiling with his whole face!
So maybe the father-in-law did see him smile... I'm still not convinced.
Anyhow, the boy smiles every day now, so that's great.
He also cries every day. A lot more than he smiles. Which is OK, because he's smiling now sometimes. (It was also OK before, but better now, because he smiles....)
BABY'S STARES AT FEET FOR FIRST TIME
There's really not much to say here. I'm not sure why he hadn't seen his feet before. But today he was naked with just the diaper on, and lifted his feet and looked at it. I've got some of it on video, I think, or at the very least, the wife and I talking about how he looked at his feet for the first time...
Alright, that's it for milestone(s). Time to see if we can get this kid to sleep.
Ah, sleeping more than 3 hours at a time. That's a milestone you will see on here IN ALL CAPS LIKE THIS.
Seriously.
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
6 week birthday / last pampers N diaper
Today the kid is 6 weeks old!
Feels like 5 weeks.
I seriously think it's only been 5 weeks.
But I don't have time to look at a calendar.
The wife says 6 weeks, so who am I to argue.
For his birthday, the boy is using the last Pampers Newborn (N) diaper.
It's on to diapers marked with a 1.
Watch out, world.
Feels like 5 weeks.
I seriously think it's only been 5 weeks.
But I don't have time to look at a calendar.
The wife says 6 weeks, so who am I to argue.
For his birthday, the boy is using the last Pampers Newborn (N) diaper.
It's on to diapers marked with a 1.
Watch out, world.
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