10 Things I Never Said Before I Was a Parent

10 Things I Never Said Before I Was a Parent (That I Now Say ALL THE FREAKING TIME)

10. Don't bite the dog.

9.  Don't bite the dog in the butt.

8.  Don't let the dog lick your eating spoon.

7. Don't spank the dog with your eating spoon.

6. You have to wear pants when you go outside.

5. I'm pretty sure you have to wear pants when you go outside.

4. Go to sleep.  Everyone has to sleep.

3. I'm pretty sure everyone has to sleep.

2. Thank you for letting momma and daddy sleep past 7:00 am.

1. Don't worry.  It's only pee.*

-ND

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* "It's only pee," must be one of the most common phrases now uttered in our household.  It's also one of the phrases that NEVER passed my lips before becoming a parent.  Even when we got a dog.