Updates and Milestones in Year 4 (So Far)

UPDATES

Just read back on this blog, and boy, that first year I sure posted a lot.

Second year, a little less.

And then these last two years...it's like a weight lifted and a realization dawns on your that there's more to life than being obsessed with your child and documenting it on the internet to the delight of your grandparents and the boredom of your friends.

But, I'm happy to have those first two years well documented, just in case we have another...

MILESTONES

Now, in the 4th year, it's kind of like high school - you're experienced, settled in, feeling like you run this place.  You're not a new dad any longer - just a dad.

In other words, besides the tantrums that force us to pull the car over and sit in a park for 30 minutes while he calms down and stops trying to open the goddamn door, the fourth year for the baby boy has been mostly great.  A few milestones include:

-Learned how to ride a bike  Sure, it's a $4.00 Minnie Mouse bike from Goodwill.  If he gets better, he get s a new bike, simple as that.

-Got a solid video game addiction  My bad.  More on this in a later post (or not).

-Learned how to swim  Thanks to the YMCA, and especially Ms. Rebecca.  When you find a teacher with patience and positivity like that, you want to ask them: "Um, what else can you teach my son?"  Seriously, I'm going to ask her that the next time I see her.

-Lost first tooth  Is this normal?  I told the boy it is, based solely on a quick Internet search that said lots of kids lose their teeth beginning at age 4.5.  He's about to lose his second tooth, and I'm calling that normal as well...

-Sounding out words  The other day he spelled out "Hot" then "Pot" for me in the bathtub, but now that I think about it, he may have just been hungry (Hot Pot is a Chinese meal, for those who don't know) or was saying something about the temperature of the water.

-Changed to a new preschool without complaints  Perhaps that old school wasn't the greatest...

I'm sure there are more milestones - he learned how to wink, and can throw a ball, blah blah blah -  but hey, it's the fourth year, so only the big ones count.

Seriously.

-ND

Best Books (that I read) in 2017

Here's a list of the best books I read in 2017.

Okay, these are ALL the books I read in 2017. I got stuck on a few.

And so, for 2018, let it be known: I'm reading the first 20 pages of a book, and only finishing them if I'm hooked.  If a book doesn't suck me in so I take it everywhere and devour it in a day or two, I'm moving on.

Have you read any books like that?

Sure you have.  What are they?  Leave a comment, drop me an email, text, call, whatever.  Tell me the books you've read the fastest - the ones you couldn't you put down, you read in line in supermarket, the car, the kitchen...everywhere!

Book recommendations - I need them!

OK, so here's the list from 2017, in no particular order except that I sorted them into three groups: Read These Now, Maybe Check Out One Or Two, and Maybe Don't Read These (Unless You Really Want To).

Enjoy?

READ THESE NOW

Killer in the Rain - Raymond Chandler

Amazing for Chandler fans. A collection of short stories that served as the basis for Chandler's classic novels.  So this is how these stories got started!  Missing scenes!  I loved it all the way through, but I'm a huge Chandler fan (See: My Ranking of All of Raymond Chandler's Novels).

If you're not a huge Chandler fan, well, you may want to read something else. But you should be a fan.  He's one of the greatest American authors, and certainly the best author to write about Los Angeles.  Read FAREWELL, MY LOVELY, or THE HIGH WINDOW and see if you don't agree.

Alright, enough about Chander, let's look at some things written by mortals.

We Were Eight Years in Power - Ta-Nehisi Coates

Another important book by Coates.  And by "important" I mean, important for white people to read.  Seriously.

Armada - Ernest Cline 

What if aliens had been attacking Earth since the 1970s and that's why Star Wars, Video Games, and alien movies came into existence - to train us to fight them!

With all the bad reviews, I was reluctant to give this a read.  But I loved READY PLAYER ONE so much, I eventually gave in.  And though not as well written - or original - it's still addictive as all hell, especially if you love 80s culture, video game, or well, a nerd around my age.  (Hey!)

Narrative of the Life of Fredrick Douglass - Fredrick Douglass (duh)

We read so few first-person accounts of slavery, this book is a powerful reminder.  I can't believe I hadn't read it until last year.  So powerful and vivid - I wish I would have read it 20 years ago. Or 10. Or 5. Don't be me. Read it this year.

Why We Can't Wait - Martin Luther King, Jr. 

Be honest, have you read much of what King has written besides what you were forced to read in school?Turns out this MLK guy can write.  Really gives you appreciating for the thought and work that goes into a sustained protest.

The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo - Steig Larson 

So I'm a few years late to this party, but what a party!  Hacker girls!  40-something journalists out to topple big corporations!  Serial killers!  And all, in Sweeden!  (Spoiler?)

Open - Andre Agassi 

Get it?  He plays in the U.S. Open and now he's being "open" about his past.

Bad father, but intriguing stuff, especially if you grew up playing tennis in the 90s. (Or if you worked out next to Agassi at the Wooden Center one time in 2000!  That was me!  Hey Andre!)

MAYBE CHECK OUT ONE OR TWO OF THESE IF THE DESCRIPTION SOUNDS PROMISING

Eating the Dinosaur - Chuck Klosterman

So this is what "think pieces" are...mixing pop culture with history and social observation to turn banal parts of American society into interesting...idea...sandwiches?  Think pieces and idea sandwiches.

The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest - Steig Larson

The second book in the series - slightly less addictive than the first.  (Spoiler: More killings.)

The Fall - Albert Camus

"In short, you see, the essential is to cease being free and to obey, in repentance, a greater rogue than oneself."  Serious, philosophical stuff!  I think. At least, I felt philosophical while reading it...

Middle Men - Jim Gavin

Short stories. Gave me flashbacks to my 20s, espeically post-college LA in the 2000s.  So, mostly good?

The Looming Tower - Lawrence Wright

Stopped at page 150.  So well written, but so hard to get through, mostly because I've come to realize I've burned out on history books.  (Thanks grad school!)

The Course: Serious Hold 'Em Strategy for Smart Players - Ed Miller

No Limit Hold 'Em book.  Never read one before, and this one's not all that serious, despite the title. Lots of fun, actually.  Also, you don't have to be a smart poker player to read it, because, well, I read it.

The Raymond Chandler Papers - Raymond Chandler

Collection of Chandler's letters.  Great stuff on writing; not so great stuff when generalizing about other races of people.

The Girl Who Played With Fire - Steig Larson

Yes, I read the whole damn series last year.  The last book isn't as good as the rest, but how are you not going to read the last book in a trilogy.  

The Honest Toddler - Bunmi Laditan

A little long and repetitive for book that is essentially one joke - parenting advice from the perspective of a toddler. Good jokes, though, just a little long and repetitive.  Did I say that already?  That's what the book is like!

MAYBE DON'T READ THESE (UNLESS YOU REALLY WANT TO)
 
Arthur Ashe on Tennis - Arthur Ashe

On tennis and life.  Mostly tennis, though.

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff - Richard Carlson

Some good words of wisdom...that I promptly forgot.  On my desk at work sits this book and The Art of War by Sun Tzu.  I'm hoping business is some combination of the two.

The Art of War - Sun Tzu

Interesting, but, a little dated.  Uses examples from Chinese generals that to most Westerners (such as this one) might seem a bit obscure.

Shut Up and Live! - Marion Downs

Bought this book by a 93 year for my parents.  She has the secrets of living a healthy older life!  Kind of.  Turns out the secret to a long life is to stay positive and exercise.  Exercise a lot.

George Washington's Book of Virtues - George Washington

Picked this one up randomly after seeing Hamilton and errantly believing for a moment I was interested in Colonial America.  This list of manners is mostly about being respectful to others. Includes such gems as not killing bugs in front of other people when they crawl on you, and not cutting bread with a greasy knife.

And...

That's it!  If you were counting, it was a mere 20 books...

And, oh no, it's 2018 already. Send me your recommendations, I'm already behind.

See you at the library,  (Of course, I mean, Amazon)

Your Humble Servant,

-N.D.

Year 3, recap

This is a post where New Dad tries to remember what fun/new things we did this year with the boy...because otherwise he'll forget it.

So, apologies in advance if this feels like a personal journal entry, because, well, that's pretty much what it is.  (But you might learn some fun things to do with your three-year-old!  But probably not.)

Bowling.  Turns out, this activity is not just good for overweight middle-aged men.  It's great for kids, too!  Also, they had an air hockey table.  The boy loves himself some air hockey.

Voting. The boy comes with New Dad to vote in a city election.  He learns that voting is fast, and that he can come inside the booth, and Daddy can hand him the ballot to give to the ballot takers, and for some reason it's cute, and not a possibly illegal way of voting.

Hiking and BBQing in the mountains.  Not in that order.  Also, a lot of driving.  Good fun, though.

Lancaster Air show.  Lots of planes.  The boy fell asleep before the Thunderbirds, which was good, because one "Thunderbird" was sick, which led to a lot of "More like gentle storm birds" jokes.  And by "led to," I mean, just this one, right now.

Natural History Museum.  Butterflies! And other natural stuff.

Local carnival with friends and their kids.   Rides, cotton candy, and he got to throw darts again this year, which was scary (again), yet also really brave of the carnie to turn their back while our 3-year-old and his 3-year-old friend with a wicked arm threw REAL DARTS at balloons.  And by "brave" I mean, dumb.  Real dumb.

Camping with friends and their kids.  Turns out, letting kids run around out doors tires them out. Next summer, the plan is to camp every day.

San Diego with grandparents and cousins.  So much fun.  Thanks for renting a house a block from the beach, grandma, but next time, ON THE SAND.  What are we, savages?  Why do we have a cross a street to get to the beach?  (This is a joke - house was amazing.  Thanks again!)

Mammoth with grandparents and cousins.  Another great trip.  Saw a lot of the cousins this year, now that I'm writing this all down...

Descanso Gardens with friends and their kids.  Good gardens with the smallest train ride in the world, for not the smallest ticket price.

Driving range and putting green.  The boy loves it!  For 10 minutes.

Sky Zone.  A trampoline park.  So much fun. New Dad loved it...for 10 minutes.  Then New Dad got tired.  The boy got tired after 45 minutes, and then noticed an air hockey table...

Cal Poly Pomona Pumpkin Patch. Arguably the most crowded pumpkin patch in Southern California.  Somehow, that day in October was the hottest day of the summer.  (Get it, it's actually fall?)  Amazing corn maze, though, and I don't say that lightly.

Thanksgiving Plane Flight to San Francisco, Drive to Central California.  The boy loved the plane flight - mostly, he loved playing Asteroids on the plane.  The boy loved San Francisco - mostly playing air hockey on Pier 39.  The boy has my genes.

Nintendo Entertainment System (NES)  Connected up the old system to show the boy Duck Hunt.  Turns out, the light gun doesn't work on "new" TVs.  Played Super Mario Bros instead.  Turns out, that game is SUPER INTENSE compared with the Angry Birds and Pokemon Go games of today.  Example: Mushrooms and venus fly traps are TRYING TO KILL YOU.  And if you're not careful, you fall down a hole to your death.  And that's just the first half of level 1-1.

By my count, that's 15 new things.  I thought that was a lot, but now I'm thinking there are 52 weekends in a year...

Next year we'll shoot for at least 26 new things.

And more camping.  And doing things where the boy can just run around and the parents can just sit around.

Seriously.

-ND

Books I Read - Or Attempted to Read - in 2016

Meant to post this New Year's Eve.  But, I'm a parent, so it's two weeks late.  -ND

As the boy gets older, I'm trying to get back that old habit of reading books.  Here's a brief rundown of the 23 books I read - or at least partially read - this year.

The whole list, followed by brief descriptions of the best ones. (And why you should read them NOW)

1 The Life You Can Save - Peter Singer
2 Toddlers are A**Holes: It's Not Your Fault - Bunmi Laditan
3 Between Parent and Child - Haim Genott
4 365 Thank Yous - John Kralik
5 Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk - Ben Fountain
6 A Million Miles in a Thousand Years - Donald Miller
7 The Killing Season - Miles Corwin
8 Attempting Normal - Mark Maron
9 The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up - Marie Kondo
10 A Framework for Understanding Poverty - Ruby Payne
11 Leviathan Wakes - James Corey
12 Holidays on Ice (Reread) - David Sedaris
13 Getting Even - Woody Allen
14 Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance - Angela Duckworth
15 The 22 Immutable Laws of Marketing - Alan Ries & Jack Trout
16 Smartbomb: The Quest for Art, Entertainment, and Big Bucks in the Videogame Revolution Heather Chaplin & Aaron Ruby
17 The Pleasure of My Company - Steve Martin
18 The Sellout - Paul Beatty
19 How to Dad - Boswell and Barrett
20 The Bin Ladens  - Steve Coll
21 Boundaries with Kids - Cloud / Tounsand
22 The Problems of Philosophy - Bertrand Russell
23 Fluke - Christopher Moore

WORTH EVERY SECOND
Read These 5 Books RIGHT NOW

The Life You Can Save - Peter Singer

If you were walking by a lake and saw someone drowning, would you save them, even if it inconvenienced you?   That's the issue with global poverty, argues Singer.  He's right - we need to get off our duffs.  Donate to Oxfam, and others.  Check out www.thelifeyoucansave.org.  Oh, and read this book.

Toddlers are A**Holes: It's Not Your Fault - Bunmi Laditan

One of the best-written, and funniest books I have ever read - but really hits home if you're a parent.  It's the book I wish I would have written, but so glad she wrote it because I would have never been this funny. But not just funny, it makes us as parents feel a lot less alone and dysfunctional.  Turns out, a lot of people are thinking the same things -  ie: Is it too early to drink?  What did I do with all my time when I wasn't a parent?

Between Parent and Child - Haim Genott

Picked up this book at a used book store on a whim, and it has changed the way I think about parenting and talk to children. Specifically, my children.  Specifically, my son.

365 Thank Yous - John Kralik

Another used book store random find.  (Shout out to HALF OFF BOOKS in Whittier - the best used book store in the San Gabriel Valley - and dare I say, LA County?)  Not well written, but Kralik's a Pasadena attorney, so it feels local, and the effect of writing a Thank You card every day feel real.  Definitely inspired me to start writing Thank You cards.  So inspired, I wrote all of four cards in 2016.  I plan to do better in 2017 - THANK YOU, John Kralik, for reminding me.

Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk - Ben Fountain

It turns out real literature is still being written. This take on American excess and emptiness told through the eyes of a soldier being honored during a Dallas Cowboys football game is both strange and phenomenal.


REALLY REALLY GOOD 

A Million Miles in a Thousand Years - Donald Miller

My sister gave me this book because it's about screenwriting, but it works simply as honest writing about trying to figure out life in your 30s.

The Killing Season - Miles Corwin

LA Times reporter follows a homicide crew through a bloody summer in South Central Los Angeles in the 90s.  It's like reading The Wire, but in LA.

Attempting Normal - Mark Maron

As a fan of his podcast (WTF), I was destined to like this book.  What I didn't expect was the high quality of the writing.  Maron can write, and not just funny stuff, but actually write.  Only negative: discusses sex far too much. (He rarely talks about sex on his podcast, so it's just odd and a little disturbing.)

The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up - Marie Kondo

Almost a spiritual guide to cleanliness that has made me 10% cleaner, but has made it a whole lot easier to throw things out.  Turns out, if you take the thing you're going to throw out and stay OUT LOUD: "Thank you for all you've done for me" to the thing, then throw it away, then you don't feel bad about it.  It's like closure. It works. Strangely. And I don't know why.

WORTH CHECKING OUT
(In order or worth-checking-out worthyness)

A Framework for Understanding Poverty - Ruby Payne

Leviathan Wakes - James Corey

Holidays on Ice - (Reread) David Sedaris

Getting Even - Woody Allen

Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance - Angela Duckworth

The 22 Immutable Laws of Marketing - Alan Ries & Jack Trout

Smartbomb: The Quest for Art, Entertainment, and Big Bucks in the Videogame Revolution - Heather Chaplin & Aaron Ruby

The Pleasure of My Company - Steve Martin

DID NOT FINISH EVEN THOUGH I TRIED REALLY HARD
MAYBE YOU WILL HAVE BETTER LUCK

The Sellout - Paul Beatty
How to Dad - Boswell and Barrett
The Bin Ladens - Steve Coll
Boundaries with Kids - Cloud / Tounsand
The Problems of Philosophy - Bertrand Russell
Fluke - Christopher Moore

And...that's it.

Currently accepting/soliciting recommendations for 2017.  Any books blow your mind recently?

Because so far in 2017, I've read....nothing.

But, I started another Bunmi Laditan book, so things are looking up.

Seriously.  She is funny as hell.

-ND

Coming up on the ending of year 2 (for the boy) and year 3 (for the parents) Do the math.

It has been a while since I updated this.

And today's "update" isn't going to be much, since I have to go downstairs and start breakfast in less than 5 minutes.

So, it may read like a journal entry.  So feel free to ignore it.. And also, feel free to use the word "So..." as many times as you want today when you begin a sentence...

(I'm labeling this post a rough draft, because it's one of those that may need some revising in the future and/or some deleting in the future)

There are so many updates for the boy - who used to be a baby but is now clearly a boy - I don't know where to begin.  He is potty trained now, though he has a few accidents, so do we still say they're potty trained?  I guess so.  If I know how to drive but I crash once in a while, I suppose I still know how to drive... So let's say he's a potty trained person, though he just started, so he makes some mistakes.

In his daycare, he has switched to the large side, which means the ratio from teacher to kid goes from 1-4 to 1-8, meaning there are 16 kids in his class and two teachers.

The problem is, there's really only one teacher.  The school hasn't hired a permanent second teacher, so that second spot always rotates.

Anyway, the boy likes the big playground, but I don't think he likes all the other kids.

Everytime I pick him up, though, he's busy playing with magnets with other kids, or pretending to cook while wearing a princess dress (not sure the dress is necessary for him to cook...and when I think about it, it seems a little bit gender stereotypical...do they make him put on that dress over his clothes when he cooks?  Or did he choose it himself?  Anyhow, this has only happened once, so we'll see.

Christmas pageant is Friday at his school.  We'll see how the Frosty and Rudulf songs go.  And hopefully I'll update about it.

If not, there will be an update about the books I read this year, because damn if I didn't keep track on that Google doc for nothing.

Oh shit, time for breakfst.

Breakfast.

(I could have corrected my misspelling - like I just did for the word "mispelling" - but I wanted to illustrate how pressed for time I am these days.)

Sincerely,

-ND

Two Years, Eight Months, Three Days - Milestones & Favorite Things

Typing this on a Sunday afternoon while Not-so-New Mom finishes up napping the boy... So it may be short.

Milestones:

Who knows.  Where did we last stop?  He walks, he talks, he eats, he's starting to poo and pee in the toilet.

Says things like:

"I LOVE vegetables."
"Act-tually..."
"Daddy, I pooed."

Convinced me to buy him a jumprope by explaining that the one we have is long and hurts, and he needs a soft one for himself.  (We were at the Dollar Tree, so hey, he convinced me to the tune of a brand new $1 jump rope.  Congrats kid!)

New Dad's all-time favorite things that he's said:

-Boy: Who bit the apple, Daddy? (Pointing to iPad)
-ND: Oh, that's funny, it's actu--
-Boy: The donkey.

-Boy: Daddy, there's a spider in your ear.
-ND: Really?  You see a spider?
-Boy (Looking closer): Oh, it's gone.

-ND: Good morning. Daddy's here.
-Boy: I want mommy.
-ND: Mommy's busy.  Daddy's here-
-Boy: Go get mommy.
-ND: Let's wake up with Daddy today-
-Boy: Go put a shirt on, Daddy.
-ND: I'll go get mommy.

Favorites:

Think this should be an update as much as Milestones - shows where's he at, and his favorite things

Favorite Movie: Little Mermaid (but has seen no movie all the way through)

Favorite YouTube Vid: Blippi's Garbage Trucks

Favorite Word: Pamplemousse



Oh shit, he's up.  We're off to the mall or something equally exciting.

-ND

Coming Blogs:

-Our Two Year Old Boy's 10 Favorite Videos
(in no order, because all will annoy you)

-Things that sound like the boy's cry

-The Allure of Garbage Trucks

-Best Book for Parents

Milestones - 2 years, just over 4 months

(This post is a rough draft.  For finished, polished posts, might I reccommend (see how I spelled "recommend" incorrectly?  I may not even have time to go back and fix that!) one of the "Popular Posts" in the box on the right.  A handful of folks were particularly not bored by "5 Tricks to Get Your Toddler to Do What You Want) 

So, I missed the boy's birthday update that I was so diligent about the first year of his life.  Missed it like I've missed it for maybe a year now.

Because who celebrates monthly birthdays?  It's confusing for the kid AND the parent.

So here are a few things, mostly for my own record, of what he's been doing these days:

Boy is 2 years, 4 months and change...here are some things he's doing:

Likes to say:

Most recently:

"NB play trumpet, make daddy laugh."

"NB poo on daddy!  NB pee on daddy!  NB poo on carpet.  NB pee on carpet!" He doesn't do any of these things, but he only says them when he isn't wearing a diaper, and sometimes has snuck up behind Daddy and wrapped him in a pants-less hug.  I think he just likes to see the raised eyebrow expression I give him.  So, I need to work on not reacting to SOMEONE  SAYING THEY'RE GOING TO POO OR PEE ON YOU!

When asked where to go: "Go to the Japanese market!"

"Daddy, play ABCs.  NB play Twinkle Twinkle."  Not sure if he knows these are the same song, but he puts them together.

Other:

Counts to 13, but then skips to 16 or 17.  Goes on to 30, with slight assistance.

Says the letters of the alphabet, but skips N.  (Who needs it, anyway?)

Tip toes.

Walks "slowly."

(Most of the time is running, so these variations are interesting...to his parents, only...)

Ate 6 raw oysters a few weeks ago.

Ate intestine cold dish apetizer yesterday.

Eats shrimp like it's running out of style.

There's a lot more, but it's breakfast time..

-ND