This is a post where New Dad tries to remember what fun/new things we did this year with the boy...because otherwise he'll forget it.
So, apologies in advance if this feels like a personal journal entry, because, well, that's pretty much what it is. (But you might learn some fun things to do with your three-year-old! But probably not.)
Bowling. Turns out, this activity is not just good for overweight middle-aged men. It's great for kids, too! Also, they had an air hockey table. The boy loves himself some air hockey.
Voting. The boy comes with New Dad to vote in a city election. He learns that voting is fast, and that he can come inside the booth, and Daddy can hand him the ballot to give to the ballot takers, and for some reason it's cute, and not a possibly illegal way of voting.
Hiking and BBQing in the mountains. Not in that order. Also, a lot of driving. Good fun, though.
Lancaster Air show. Lots of planes. The boy fell asleep before the Thunderbirds, which was good, because one "Thunderbird" was sick, which led to a lot of "More like gentle storm birds" jokes. And by "led to," I mean, just this one, right now.
Natural History Museum. Butterflies! And other natural stuff.
Local carnival with friends and their kids. Rides, cotton candy, and he got to throw darts again this year, which was scary (again), yet also really brave of the carnie to turn their back while our 3-year-old and his 3-year-old friend with a wicked arm threw REAL DARTS at balloons. And by "brave" I mean, dumb. Real dumb.
Camping with friends and their kids. Turns out, letting kids run around out doors tires them out. Next summer, the plan is to camp every day.
San Diego with grandparents and cousins. So much fun. Thanks for renting a house a block from the beach, grandma, but next time, ON THE SAND. What are we, savages? Why do we have a cross a street to get to the beach? (This is a joke - house was amazing. Thanks again!)
Mammoth with grandparents and cousins. Another great trip. Saw a lot of the cousins this year, now that I'm writing this all down...
Descanso Gardens with friends and their kids. Good gardens with the smallest train ride in the world, for not the smallest ticket price.
Driving range and putting green. The boy loves it! For 10 minutes.
Sky Zone. A trampoline park. So much fun. New Dad loved it...for 10 minutes. Then New Dad got tired. The boy got tired after 45 minutes, and then noticed an air hockey table...
Cal Poly Pomona Pumpkin Patch. Arguably the most crowded pumpkin patch in Southern California. Somehow, that day in October was the hottest day of the summer. (Get it, it's actually fall?) Amazing corn maze, though, and I don't say that lightly.
Thanksgiving Plane Flight to San Francisco, Drive to Central California. The boy loved the plane flight - mostly, he loved playing Asteroids on the plane. The boy loved San Francisco - mostly playing air hockey on Pier 39. The boy has my genes.
Nintendo Entertainment System (NES) Connected up the old system to show the boy Duck Hunt. Turns out, the light gun doesn't work on "new" TVs. Played Super Mario Bros instead. Turns out, that game is SUPER INTENSE compared with the Angry Birds and Pokemon Go games of today. Example: Mushrooms and venus fly traps are TRYING TO KILL YOU. And if you're not careful, you fall down a hole to your death. And that's just the first half of level 1-1.
By my count, that's 15 new things. I thought that was a lot, but now I'm thinking there are 52 weekends in a year...
Next year we'll shoot for at least 26 new things.
And more camping. And doing things where the boy can just run around and the parents can just sit around.
Seriously.
-ND
Thursday, December 14, 2017
Sunday, January 15, 2017
Books I Read - Or Attempted to Read - in 2016
Meant to post this New Year's Eve. But, I'm a parent, so it's two weeks late. -ND
As the boy gets older, I'm trying to get back that old habit of reading books. Here's a brief rundown of the 23 books I read - or at least partially read - this year.
The whole list, followed by brief descriptions of the best ones. (And why you should read them NOW)
1 The Life You Can Save - Peter Singer
2 Toddlers are A**Holes: It's Not Your Fault - Bunmi Laditan
3 Between Parent and Child - Haim Genott
4 365 Thank Yous - John Kralik
5 Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk - Ben Fountain
6 A Million Miles in a Thousand Years - Donald Miller
7 The Killing Season - Miles Corwin
8 Attempting Normal - Mark Maron
9 The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up - Marie Kondo
10 A Framework for Understanding Poverty - Ruby Payne
11 Leviathan Wakes - James Corey
12 Holidays on Ice (Reread) - David Sedaris
13 Getting Even - Woody Allen
14 Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance - Angela Duckworth
15 The 22 Immutable Laws of Marketing - Alan Ries & Jack Trout
16 Smartbomb: The Quest for Art, Entertainment, and Big Bucks in the Videogame Revolution Heather Chaplin & Aaron Ruby
17 The Pleasure of My Company - Steve Martin
18 The Sellout - Paul Beatty
19 How to Dad - Boswell and Barrett
20 The Bin Ladens - Steve Coll
21 Boundaries with Kids - Cloud / Tounsand
22 The Problems of Philosophy - Bertrand Russell
23 Fluke - Christopher Moore
WORTH EVERY SECOND
Read These 5 Books RIGHT NOW
The Life You Can Save - Peter Singer
If you were walking by a lake and saw someone drowning, would you save them, even if it inconvenienced you? That's the issue with global poverty, argues Singer. He's right - we need to get off our duffs. Donate to Oxfam, and others. Check out www.thelifeyoucansave.org. Oh, and read this book.
Toddlers are A**Holes: It's Not Your Fault - Bunmi Laditan
One of the best-written, and funniest books I have ever read - but really hits home if you're a parent. It's the book I wish I would have written, but so glad she wrote it because I would have never been this funny. But not just funny, it makes us as parents feel a lot less alone and dysfunctional. Turns out, a lot of people are thinking the same things - ie: Is it too early to drink? What did I do with all my time when I wasn't a parent?
Between Parent and Child - Haim Genott
Picked up this book at a used book store on a whim, and it has changed the way I think about parenting and talk to children. Specifically, my children. Specifically, my son.
365 Thank Yous - John Kralik
Another used book store random find. (Shout out to HALF OFF BOOKS in Whittier - the best used book store in the San Gabriel Valley - and dare I say, LA County?) Not well written, but Kralik's a Pasadena attorney, so it feels local, and the effect of writing a Thank You card every day feel real. Definitely inspired me to start writing Thank You cards. So inspired, I wrote all of four cards in 2016. I plan to do better in 2017 - THANK YOU, John Kralik, for reminding me.
Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk - Ben Fountain
It turns out real literature is still being written. This take on American excess and emptiness told through the eyes of a soldier being honored during a Dallas Cowboys football game is both strange and phenomenal.
REALLY REALLY GOOD
A Million Miles in a Thousand Years - Donald Miller
My sister gave me this book because it's about screenwriting, but it works simply as honest writing about trying to figure out life in your 30s.
The Killing Season - Miles Corwin
LA Times reporter follows a homicide crew through a bloody summer in South Central Los Angeles in the 90s. It's like reading The Wire, but in LA.
Attempting Normal - Mark Maron
As a fan of his podcast (WTF), I was destined to like this book. What I didn't expect was the high quality of the writing. Maron can write, and not just funny stuff, but actually write. Only negative: discusses sex far too much. (He rarely talks about sex on his podcast, so it's just odd and a little disturbing.)
The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up - Marie Kondo
Almost a spiritual guide to cleanliness that has made me 10% cleaner, but has made it a whole lot easier to throw things out. Turns out, if you take the thing you're going to throw out and stay OUT LOUD: "Thank you for all you've done for me" to the thing, then throw it away, then you don't feel bad about it. It's like closure. It works. Strangely. And I don't know why.
WORTH CHECKING OUT
(In order or worth-checking-out worthyness)
A Framework for Understanding Poverty - Ruby Payne
Leviathan Wakes - James Corey
Holidays on Ice - (Reread) David Sedaris
Getting Even - Woody Allen
Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance - Angela Duckworth
The 22 Immutable Laws of Marketing - Alan Ries & Jack Trout
Smartbomb: The Quest for Art, Entertainment, and Big Bucks in the Videogame Revolution - Heather Chaplin & Aaron Ruby
The Pleasure of My Company - Steve Martin
DID NOT FINISH EVEN THOUGH I TRIED REALLY HARD
MAYBE YOU WILL HAVE BETTER LUCK
The Sellout - Paul Beatty
How to Dad - Boswell and Barrett
The Bin Ladens - Steve Coll
Boundaries with Kids - Cloud / Tounsand
The Problems of Philosophy - Bertrand Russell
Fluke - Christopher Moore
And...that's it.
Currently accepting/soliciting recommendations for 2017. Any books blow your mind recently?
Because so far in 2017, I've read....nothing.
But, I started another Bunmi Laditan book, so things are looking up.
Seriously. She is funny as hell.
-ND
As the boy gets older, I'm trying to get back that old habit of reading books. Here's a brief rundown of the 23 books I read - or at least partially read - this year.
The whole list, followed by brief descriptions of the best ones. (And why you should read them NOW)
1 The Life You Can Save - Peter Singer
2 Toddlers are A**Holes: It's Not Your Fault - Bunmi Laditan
3 Between Parent and Child - Haim Genott
4 365 Thank Yous - John Kralik
5 Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk - Ben Fountain
6 A Million Miles in a Thousand Years - Donald Miller
7 The Killing Season - Miles Corwin
8 Attempting Normal - Mark Maron
9 The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up - Marie Kondo
10 A Framework for Understanding Poverty - Ruby Payne
11 Leviathan Wakes - James Corey
12 Holidays on Ice (Reread) - David Sedaris
13 Getting Even - Woody Allen
14 Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance - Angela Duckworth
15 The 22 Immutable Laws of Marketing - Alan Ries & Jack Trout
16 Smartbomb: The Quest for Art, Entertainment, and Big Bucks in the Videogame Revolution Heather Chaplin & Aaron Ruby
17 The Pleasure of My Company - Steve Martin
18 The Sellout - Paul Beatty
19 How to Dad - Boswell and Barrett
20 The Bin Ladens - Steve Coll
21 Boundaries with Kids - Cloud / Tounsand
22 The Problems of Philosophy - Bertrand Russell
23 Fluke - Christopher Moore
WORTH EVERY SECOND
Read These 5 Books RIGHT NOW
The Life You Can Save - Peter Singer
If you were walking by a lake and saw someone drowning, would you save them, even if it inconvenienced you? That's the issue with global poverty, argues Singer. He's right - we need to get off our duffs. Donate to Oxfam, and others. Check out www.thelifeyoucansave.org. Oh, and read this book.
Toddlers are A**Holes: It's Not Your Fault - Bunmi Laditan
One of the best-written, and funniest books I have ever read - but really hits home if you're a parent. It's the book I wish I would have written, but so glad she wrote it because I would have never been this funny. But not just funny, it makes us as parents feel a lot less alone and dysfunctional. Turns out, a lot of people are thinking the same things - ie: Is it too early to drink? What did I do with all my time when I wasn't a parent?
Between Parent and Child - Haim Genott
Picked up this book at a used book store on a whim, and it has changed the way I think about parenting and talk to children. Specifically, my children. Specifically, my son.
Another used book store random find. (Shout out to HALF OFF BOOKS in Whittier - the best used book store in the San Gabriel Valley - and dare I say, LA County?) Not well written, but Kralik's a Pasadena attorney, so it feels local, and the effect of writing a Thank You card every day feel real. Definitely inspired me to start writing Thank You cards. So inspired, I wrote all of four cards in 2016. I plan to do better in 2017 - THANK YOU, John Kralik, for reminding me.
Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk - Ben Fountain
It turns out real literature is still being written. This take on American excess and emptiness told through the eyes of a soldier being honored during a Dallas Cowboys football game is both strange and phenomenal.
REALLY REALLY GOOD
A Million Miles in a Thousand Years - Donald Miller
My sister gave me this book because it's about screenwriting, but it works simply as honest writing about trying to figure out life in your 30s.
LA Times reporter follows a homicide crew through a bloody summer in South Central Los Angeles in the 90s. It's like reading The Wire, but in LA.
As a fan of his podcast (WTF), I was destined to like this book. What I didn't expect was the high quality of the writing. Maron can write, and not just funny stuff, but actually write. Only negative: discusses sex far too much. (He rarely talks about sex on his podcast, so it's just odd and a little disturbing.)
Almost a spiritual guide to cleanliness that has made me 10% cleaner, but has made it a whole lot easier to throw things out. Turns out, if you take the thing you're going to throw out and stay OUT LOUD: "Thank you for all you've done for me" to the thing, then throw it away, then you don't feel bad about it. It's like closure. It works. Strangely. And I don't know why.
WORTH CHECKING OUT
(In order or worth-checking-out worthyness)
Leviathan Wakes - James Corey
Holidays on Ice - (Reread) David Sedaris
Getting Even - Woody Allen
Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance - Angela Duckworth
The 22 Immutable Laws of Marketing - Alan Ries & Jack Trout
Smartbomb: The Quest for Art, Entertainment, and Big Bucks in the Videogame Revolution - Heather Chaplin & Aaron Ruby
The Pleasure of My Company - Steve Martin
DID NOT FINISH EVEN THOUGH I TRIED REALLY HARD
MAYBE YOU WILL HAVE BETTER LUCK
The Sellout - Paul Beatty
How to Dad - Boswell and Barrett
The Bin Ladens - Steve Coll
Boundaries with Kids - Cloud / Tounsand
The Problems of Philosophy - Bertrand Russell
Fluke - Christopher Moore
And...that's it.
Currently accepting/soliciting recommendations for 2017. Any books blow your mind recently?
Because so far in 2017, I've read....nothing.
But, I started another Bunmi Laditan book, so things are looking up.
Seriously. She is funny as hell.
-ND
Wednesday, December 7, 2016
Coming up on the ending of year 2 (for the boy) and year 3 (for the parents) Do the math.
It has been a while since I updated this.
And today's "update" isn't going to be much, since I have to go downstairs and start breakfast in less than 5 minutes.
So, it may read like a journal entry. So feel free to ignore it.. And also, feel free to use the word "So..." as many times as you want today when you begin a sentence...
(I'm labeling this post a rough draft, because it's one of those that may need some revising in the future and/or some deleting in the future)
There are so many updates for the boy - who used to be a baby but is now clearly a boy - I don't know where to begin. He is potty trained now, though he has a few accidents, so do we still say they're potty trained? I guess so. If I know how to drive but I crash once in a while, I suppose I still know how to drive... So let's say he's a potty trained person, though he just started, so he makes some mistakes.
In his daycare, he has switched to the large side, which means the ratio from teacher to kid goes from 1-4 to 1-8, meaning there are 16 kids in his class and two teachers.
The problem is, there's really only one teacher. The school hasn't hired a permanent second teacher, so that second spot always rotates.
Anyway, the boy likes the big playground, but I don't think he likes all the other kids.
Everytime I pick him up, though, he's busy playing with magnets with other kids, or pretending to cook while wearing a princess dress (not sure the dress is necessary for him to cook...and when I think about it, it seems a little bit gender stereotypical...do they make him put on that dress over his clothes when he cooks? Or did he choose it himself? Anyhow, this has only happened once, so we'll see.
Christmas pageant is Friday at his school. We'll see how the Frosty and Rudulf songs go. And hopefully I'll update about it.
If not, there will be an update about the books I read this year, because damn if I didn't keep track on that Google doc for nothing.
Oh shit, time for breakfst.
Breakfast.
(I could have corrected my misspelling - like I just did for the word "mispelling" - but I wanted to illustrate how pressed for time I am these days.)
Sincerely,
-ND
And today's "update" isn't going to be much, since I have to go downstairs and start breakfast in less than 5 minutes.
So, it may read like a journal entry. So feel free to ignore it.. And also, feel free to use the word "So..." as many times as you want today when you begin a sentence...
(I'm labeling this post a rough draft, because it's one of those that may need some revising in the future and/or some deleting in the future)
There are so many updates for the boy - who used to be a baby but is now clearly a boy - I don't know where to begin. He is potty trained now, though he has a few accidents, so do we still say they're potty trained? I guess so. If I know how to drive but I crash once in a while, I suppose I still know how to drive... So let's say he's a potty trained person, though he just started, so he makes some mistakes.
In his daycare, he has switched to the large side, which means the ratio from teacher to kid goes from 1-4 to 1-8, meaning there are 16 kids in his class and two teachers.
The problem is, there's really only one teacher. The school hasn't hired a permanent second teacher, so that second spot always rotates.
Anyway, the boy likes the big playground, but I don't think he likes all the other kids.
Everytime I pick him up, though, he's busy playing with magnets with other kids, or pretending to cook while wearing a princess dress (not sure the dress is necessary for him to cook...and when I think about it, it seems a little bit gender stereotypical...do they make him put on that dress over his clothes when he cooks? Or did he choose it himself? Anyhow, this has only happened once, so we'll see.
Christmas pageant is Friday at his school. We'll see how the Frosty and Rudulf songs go. And hopefully I'll update about it.
If not, there will be an update about the books I read this year, because damn if I didn't keep track on that Google doc for nothing.
Oh shit, time for breakfst.
Breakfast.
(I could have corrected my misspelling - like I just did for the word "mispelling" - but I wanted to illustrate how pressed for time I am these days.)
Sincerely,
-ND
Sunday, September 25, 2016
Two Years, Eight Months, Three Days - Milestones & Favorite Things
Typing this on a Sunday afternoon while Not-so-New Mom finishes up napping the boy... So it may be short.
Milestones:
Who knows. Where did we last stop? He walks, he talks, he eats, he's starting to poo and pee in the toilet.
Says things like:
"I LOVE vegetables."
"Act-tually..."
"Daddy, I pooed."
Convinced me to buy him a jumprope by explaining that the one we have is long and hurts, and he needs a soft one for himself. (We were at the Dollar Tree, so hey, he convinced me to the tune of a brand new $1 jump rope. Congrats kid!)
New Dad's all-time favorite things that he's said:
-Boy: Who bit the apple, Daddy? (Pointing to iPad)
-ND: Oh, that's funny, it's actu--
-Boy: The donkey.
-Boy: Daddy, there's a spider in your ear.
-ND: Really? You see a spider?
-Boy (Looking closer): Oh, it's gone.
-ND: Good morning. Daddy's here.
-Boy: I want mommy.
-ND: Mommy's busy. Daddy's here-
-Boy: Go get mommy.
-ND: Let's wake up with Daddy today-
-Boy: Go put a shirt on, Daddy.
-ND: I'll go get mommy.
Favorites:
Think this should be an update as much as Milestones - shows where's he at, and his favorite things
Favorite Movie: Little Mermaid (but has seen no movie all the way through)
Favorite YouTube Vid: Blippi's Garbage Trucks
Favorite Word: Pamplemousse
Oh shit, he's up. We're off to the mall or something equally exciting.
-ND
Coming Blogs:
-Our Two Year Old Boy's 10 Favorite Videos
(in no order, because all will annoy you)
-Things that sound like the boy's cry
-The Allure of Garbage Trucks
-Best Book for Parents
Milestones:
Who knows. Where did we last stop? He walks, he talks, he eats, he's starting to poo and pee in the toilet.
Says things like:
"I LOVE vegetables."
"Act-tually..."
"Daddy, I pooed."
Convinced me to buy him a jumprope by explaining that the one we have is long and hurts, and he needs a soft one for himself. (We were at the Dollar Tree, so hey, he convinced me to the tune of a brand new $1 jump rope. Congrats kid!)
New Dad's all-time favorite things that he's said:
-Boy: Who bit the apple, Daddy? (Pointing to iPad)
-ND: Oh, that's funny, it's actu--
-Boy: The donkey.
-Boy: Daddy, there's a spider in your ear.
-ND: Really? You see a spider?
-Boy (Looking closer): Oh, it's gone.
-ND: Good morning. Daddy's here.
-Boy: I want mommy.
-ND: Mommy's busy. Daddy's here-
-Boy: Go get mommy.
-ND: Let's wake up with Daddy today-
-Boy: Go put a shirt on, Daddy.
-ND: I'll go get mommy.
Favorites:
Think this should be an update as much as Milestones - shows where's he at, and his favorite things
Favorite Movie: Little Mermaid (but has seen no movie all the way through)
Favorite YouTube Vid: Blippi's Garbage Trucks
Favorite Word: Pamplemousse
Oh shit, he's up. We're off to the mall or something equally exciting.
-ND
Coming Blogs:
-Our Two Year Old Boy's 10 Favorite Videos
(in no order, because all will annoy you)
-Things that sound like the boy's cry
-The Allure of Garbage Trucks
-Best Book for Parents
Tuesday, May 31, 2016
Milestones - 2 years, just over 4 months
(This post is a rough draft. For finished, polished posts, might I reccommend (see how I spelled "recommend" incorrectly? I may not even have time to go back and fix that!) one of the "Popular Posts" in the box on the right. A handful of folks were particularly not bored by "5 Tricks to Get Your Toddler to Do What You Want)
So, I missed the boy's birthday update that I was so diligent about the first year of his life. Missed it like I've missed it for maybe a year now.
Because who celebrates monthly birthdays? It's confusing for the kid AND the parent.
So here are a few things, mostly for my own record, of what he's been doing these days:
Boy is 2 years, 4 months and change...here are some things he's doing:
Likes to say:
Most recently:
"NB play trumpet, make daddy laugh."
"NB poo on daddy! NB pee on daddy! NB poo on carpet. NB pee on carpet!" He doesn't do any of these things, but he only says them when he isn't wearing a diaper, and sometimes has snuck up behind Daddy and wrapped him in a pants-less hug. I think he just likes to see the raised eyebrow expression I give him. So, I need to work on not reacting to SOMEONE SAYING THEY'RE GOING TO POO OR PEE ON YOU!
When asked where to go: "Go to the Japanese market!"
"Daddy, play ABCs. NB play Twinkle Twinkle." Not sure if he knows these are the same song, but he puts them together.
Other:
Counts to 13, but then skips to 16 or 17. Goes on to 30, with slight assistance.
Says the letters of the alphabet, but skips N. (Who needs it, anyway?)
Tip toes.
Walks "slowly."
(Most of the time is running, so these variations are interesting...to his parents, only...)
Ate 6 raw oysters a few weeks ago.
Ate intestine cold dish apetizer yesterday.
Eats shrimp like it's running out of style.
There's a lot more, but it's breakfast time..
-ND
So, I missed the boy's birthday update that I was so diligent about the first year of his life. Missed it like I've missed it for maybe a year now.
Because who celebrates monthly birthdays? It's confusing for the kid AND the parent.
So here are a few things, mostly for my own record, of what he's been doing these days:
Boy is 2 years, 4 months and change...here are some things he's doing:
Likes to say:
Most recently:
"NB play trumpet, make daddy laugh."
"NB poo on daddy! NB pee on daddy! NB poo on carpet. NB pee on carpet!" He doesn't do any of these things, but he only says them when he isn't wearing a diaper, and sometimes has snuck up behind Daddy and wrapped him in a pants-less hug. I think he just likes to see the raised eyebrow expression I give him. So, I need to work on not reacting to SOMEONE SAYING THEY'RE GOING TO POO OR PEE ON YOU!
When asked where to go: "Go to the Japanese market!"
"Daddy, play ABCs. NB play Twinkle Twinkle." Not sure if he knows these are the same song, but he puts them together.
Other:
Counts to 13, but then skips to 16 or 17. Goes on to 30, with slight assistance.
Says the letters of the alphabet, but skips N. (Who needs it, anyway?)
Tip toes.
Walks "slowly."
(Most of the time is running, so these variations are interesting...to his parents, only...)
Ate 6 raw oysters a few weeks ago.
Ate intestine cold dish apetizer yesterday.
Eats shrimp like it's running out of style.
There's a lot more, but it's breakfast time..
-ND
Monday, May 23, 2016
5 Tricks to Get the Toddler to Do What You Want
As Baby Boy turns into Toddler Boy, communication between him and his Not-Quite-As-New Parents slowly shifts.
The old tricks* of "here are my car keys, jingle jingle," don't necessarily work. (Although sometimes it still does! God bless the "keys" trick!)
So, for parents like us going through this transition, here are five new tricks to use on that baby slowly turning into a kid.
I didn't make all these tricks up, but I definitely use them all. Every day.
Sometimes they work. And other times, like last night, baby boy runs around with his diaper off yelling, "I pee and poo on carpet, I pee and poo on carpet!"
Seriously.
1. Which of these two things do you want to do?
Give your toddler two options, both of which lead to your desired outcome.
Example: Instead of, "Do you want to go to the car?" Ask, "Which shoes do you want to wear to the car: the orange shoes, or the yellow shoes?"
Success Rate: 95%
Side Note: My internet provider also uses this trick on me. Why? Because it works. You get stuck thinking about the options presented in front of you, and it's hard to think about an alternative. (Maybe I DON'T need internet at the house! Maybe I should get together with my neighbor and share!)
Now that I think about it, my bank, credit card company, and wife also use this trick. That's because it's a good one.
2. Yes, you can do that, but later.
Instead of saying, "No," let your toddler know that of course they can go outside and play in the mud, but just, not right now because it's dinnertime. Later, though. No problem.
Success Rate: 80%
Why this works: Toddlers don't like to hear "no." And most of them time, they forget about "later." I'm not saying they live in the present and don't have a sense of the future...but.. Actually, I am saying that.
Why this doesn't always work: Sometimes they don't forget. Especially if "later" involves ice cream.
Bonus: I've heard parents are able to use this to get kids to do chores, such as, "Yes, you can do that, but not until your toys are picked up." Those parent's are fucking amazing.
3. That's for adults only.
I don't know if this works for everyone, but when we tell baby boy that something is "for adults only," with a serious look, he respects that.
Example: Of course you can't drink Daddy's coffee, that's for "adults only."
This can also apply to anything you don't want messed up, such as any drawer or cupboard or closet or anything he can get his damn hands...
Success Rate: 70%
I am aware the phrase, "Adults Only," is used a different manner in the "adult" world. But I swear, when you say it to your kid, it's sounds really innocent...and definitely not like a sign on the side of a gentleman's club.
4. Uh oh, Mommy's leaving, quick, let's...
New Mom often leaves for work first. The boy knows that he only has a certain amount of time to do things with her in the morning, so if he wants to brush his teeth with mamma, well, now's the time! Go go go!
Success Rate: 60%
5. Daddy is doing X and it's the the most goddamn fun thing in the world...
Also known as the Huckleberry Finn trick, this one takes commitment. Any hesitation, and the game is up. So break out that inner Meryl Streep and dig in.
Example: "Wow, putting on my shoes is amazing! Left foot slides right in, oh my gosh that feels so cool!"
Yeah, that sounds a little lame when I write it out. But as I've learned as parent, don't judge until you try it.
Success Rate: 25-75% (Depending on your inner Streep.)
And...
That's all I've got. Hopefully those help!
Got any tricks you use? Let me know and when I have another 5, I'll create another list.
Lastly, I'm always a little hesitant to write about parenting "things that work." Because now, there is a 25% chance that I've jinxed all these tricks, and we're back to square one.
And I'd rather not be in square one. There's a lot of crying in square one.
Not to mention, pee and poo.
Seriously.
-ND
----
* Maybe "trick" is the wrong word.**
** Maybe it isn't.
The old tricks* of "here are my car keys, jingle jingle," don't necessarily work. (Although sometimes it still does! God bless the "keys" trick!)
So, for parents like us going through this transition, here are five new tricks to use on that baby slowly turning into a kid.
I didn't make all these tricks up, but I definitely use them all. Every day.
Sometimes they work. And other times, like last night, baby boy runs around with his diaper off yelling, "I pee and poo on carpet, I pee and poo on carpet!"
Seriously.
5 Tricks to Get the Toddler to Do What You Want
1. Which of these two things do you want to do?
Give your toddler two options, both of which lead to your desired outcome.
Example: Instead of, "Do you want to go to the car?" Ask, "Which shoes do you want to wear to the car: the orange shoes, or the yellow shoes?"
Success Rate: 95%
Side Note: My internet provider also uses this trick on me. Why? Because it works. You get stuck thinking about the options presented in front of you, and it's hard to think about an alternative. (Maybe I DON'T need internet at the house! Maybe I should get together with my neighbor and share!)
Now that I think about it, my bank, credit card company, and wife also use this trick. That's because it's a good one.
2. Yes, you can do that, but later.
Instead of saying, "No," let your toddler know that of course they can go outside and play in the mud, but just, not right now because it's dinnertime. Later, though. No problem.
Success Rate: 80%
Why this works: Toddlers don't like to hear "no." And most of them time, they forget about "later." I'm not saying they live in the present and don't have a sense of the future...but.. Actually, I am saying that.
Why this doesn't always work: Sometimes they don't forget. Especially if "later" involves ice cream.
Bonus: I've heard parents are able to use this to get kids to do chores, such as, "Yes, you can do that, but not until your toys are picked up." Those parent's are fucking amazing.
3. That's for adults only.
I don't know if this works for everyone, but when we tell baby boy that something is "for adults only," with a serious look, he respects that.
Example: Of course you can't drink Daddy's coffee, that's for "adults only."
This can also apply to anything you don't want messed up, such as any drawer or cupboard or closet or anything he can get his damn hands...
Success Rate: 70%
I am aware the phrase, "Adults Only," is used a different manner in the "adult" world. But I swear, when you say it to your kid, it's sounds really innocent...and definitely not like a sign on the side of a gentleman's club.
4. Uh oh, Mommy's leaving, quick, let's...
New Mom often leaves for work first. The boy knows that he only has a certain amount of time to do things with her in the morning, so if he wants to brush his teeth with mamma, well, now's the time! Go go go!
Success Rate: 60%
5. Daddy is doing X and it's the the most goddamn fun thing in the world...
Also known as the Huckleberry Finn trick, this one takes commitment. Any hesitation, and the game is up. So break out that inner Meryl Streep and dig in.
Example: "Wow, putting on my shoes is amazing! Left foot slides right in, oh my gosh that feels so cool!"
Yeah, that sounds a little lame when I write it out. But as I've learned as parent, don't judge until you try it.
Success Rate: 25-75% (Depending on your inner Streep.)
And...
That's all I've got. Hopefully those help!
Got any tricks you use? Let me know and when I have another 5, I'll create another list.
Lastly, I'm always a little hesitant to write about parenting "things that work." Because now, there is a 25% chance that I've jinxed all these tricks, and we're back to square one.
And I'd rather not be in square one. There's a lot of crying in square one.
Not to mention, pee and poo.
Seriously.
-ND
----
* Maybe "trick" is the wrong word.**
** Maybe it isn't.
Saturday, April 30, 2016
The Lone White Guy At a Coffee Shop in Monterey Park on a Saturday Night
Thought this would be more productive than writing that screenplay and/or novel that I've been meaning to write.
Holy shit, there's a totally decent coffee / boba place near us called Honey Boba. Despite the name, it's large, with a lot of seats and booths, plugs for plugging in your old-ass MacBook. So many seats, like they're expecting an after-prom party to come in at any time.
The Mango Iced Tea is really sweet. I should have done the old man thing, and just asked for a plain coffee.
Next time.
Some things about the boy, before I forget.
Drummed that ABC's song today. For every letter he hit a drum...
Played some sounds on the trumpet.
Down, Da Da. -What he likes to say when he wants to get down.
Likes Daddy to pick him up "Like a Monkey." Meaning, grab by the feet, lift up, and swing left to right, like a pendulum. It looks a little crazy and holy shit, New Mom does not like this at all.
Went poo the toilet once, back in Feb? Early March? Not since. Only pee. Loves going pee in the potty and then asking (nay, demanding), "Undies!"
So much more. Can't believe we used to write down every little thing. Feels like he does 10 new things every day, it's hard to keep track. Oh wait, a few more.
Counts to 30...but misses 14 and 15 for some reason..
There was another one, but forgot, for now. There must be some way to keep track while they are happening. (ie: the recorder on your phone...but who has time to relisten to that? The notepad on your phone?)
Favorite book seems to vary. He goes back and forth between his newer, more advanced books (The Little Mermaid), and his older, more baby ones. (Goodnight Baby, Biscuit's Halloween).
Oh, movies. He has two he knows:
1. Soccer Movie! (Bend it Like Beckham)
2. Wall-E
But can't really sit through either for too long. I think that's a good thing.
The Mango Iced Tea is really sweet. I should have done the old man thing, and just asked for a plain coffee.
Next time.
Some things about the boy, before I forget.
Drummed that ABC's song today. For every letter he hit a drum...
Played some sounds on the trumpet.
Down, Da Da. -What he likes to say when he wants to get down.
Likes Daddy to pick him up "Like a Monkey." Meaning, grab by the feet, lift up, and swing left to right, like a pendulum. It looks a little crazy and holy shit, New Mom does not like this at all.
Went poo the toilet once, back in Feb? Early March? Not since. Only pee. Loves going pee in the potty and then asking (nay, demanding), "Undies!"
So much more. Can't believe we used to write down every little thing. Feels like he does 10 new things every day, it's hard to keep track. Oh wait, a few more.
Counts to 30...but misses 14 and 15 for some reason..
There was another one, but forgot, for now. There must be some way to keep track while they are happening. (ie: the recorder on your phone...but who has time to relisten to that? The notepad on your phone?)
Favorite book seems to vary. He goes back and forth between his newer, more advanced books (The Little Mermaid), and his older, more baby ones. (Goodnight Baby, Biscuit's Halloween).
Oh, movies. He has two he knows:
1. Soccer Movie! (Bend it Like Beckham)
2. Wall-E
But can't really sit through either for too long. I think that's a good thing.
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