Quote - 10 years, 1 month

 "All a kid ever needs is some video games, a book, and a friend." -While chatting with his friend Sean on the phone and waiting to play Splatoon 3 with him. 

For the first time in forever...

 School day. Got up at 7 and made it down shortly after. Boy was already eating breakfast and turns to me and says, "You're up early...'For the first time, in forever...." singing that last part straight out of Frozen.

Super Band Members + Golfing

 Played 9 holes with the boy at the Whittier Narrow Mountain 9 course on Saturday morning. Well, technically we played the whole course.

Had a really good time. 

On the way to the course, the boy asked, "What if there was a band with the best members of other bands?"

me: Like a super group?

him: Yeah. 

me: Who would you pick?

him: The drummer from block party, Slash (GnR), Paul from the Beatles-

me: Paul from the Beatles?

him: On bass. He's a good bass player.

me: Alright. Who else?

him: And Taylor Swift singing.

me: That's a pretty good group.

...

Later, on the golf course, I mentioned granddad - because I was using granddad's clubs, and used to golf with him - and the boy said, "You miss granddad a lot, don't you." and I said, "Yeah, yeah I do," and it was hard to say without, well, crying. And then we played more golf.

Music - I call DJ

 On the way to school or anywhere, son often says, "I call DJ."

I hand him my phone and he chooses songs, mostly off of his playlist.

Recently this has been:

On the way to school:

Sweet Child of Mine

Hotel California

Take on Me

All Star by Smashmouth

He learned Patience on guitar, so the G n R makes sense.

Oh, sometimes he throws in Heart of Gold by Neil Young or Wild Horses by the Rolling Stones. Both great songs.

He's recently heard Vampire by Olivia Rodrigo, and likes it The clean version, that is.

What else... learning I Saw her Standing There by The Beatles on guitar. One time he asked me, "What does, 'You know what I mean,' mean in the lyrics, 'She was just 17, you know what I mean.' 

My answer to that was a lot of fumbling. I mean, it's really hard to explain, if you think about it.

Said recently - thru July 2023

 Boy: What are my talents?

Me: So many things. Reading, Some sports. Some video games. Some musical instruments. Learning things quickly, sticking with some things. 

Boy: What are your talents?

Me: Some people say Being funny.

Boy: No, that's not it. Wiggling your ears and raising one eyebrow at a time.

...

This morning, wanted to show me some chords he learned for the song Patience. Yes, the one by Guns N Roses. 

Showed me the D chord, and how he lifts his pinky. Corrected my form when I played it. "It looks like your hand is going to the side. Try up and down."

Then played Splatoon 3 on the Nintendo Switch nearly all morning while I did a shoulder workout and got ready for work.

---

Driving to Kung Fu camp (Summer, 2023)

Boy: I call DJ!

Me: Who's DJ and why are you calling them?

Boy: Different kind of "call" Dad.

Listening to Come Together by the beatles

Boy: He says "Shoot me" in the beginning

Me: Really?

Boy: It's so different when you can read the lyrics on the phone

Boy: Miley Cyrus didn't give Amazon her lyrics though, because one is wrong in Flowers. Let me play it for you.

Skips forward a few songs, then Sweet Child of Mine comes on.

Boy: Nevermind. Can't skip past this one - it's too good.

---

Late July

Today driving to Kung Fu camp, L is the DJ and it's now Brittany Spears' Womanizer, followed by Sweet Child of Mine, and finally Here Comes the Sun by the Beatles.

On Brittany

Boy: I love this song

Me: Brittany Spears has kind of a deep voice. I mean, it's deeper than yours. (Why did I say this? No idea.)

Boy: That's because I haven't hit puberty yet, Dad.

Things Said, Done, 9 years, 3 months or so

On the mornings our way to spring break basketball camp the son demands to be DJ (I call him "DJ Dibs"). In this case he plays two songs:

1. Eye of the Tiger - Survivor

2. Intergalactic - Beastie Boys

Watched Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves in the movie theater. Took a break during the movie to go to the bathroom. At the urinal I asked the son how he liked it:

Him: "Good, except for all the talking parts."

Driving home from a school event (he's in 3rd grade) where he demonstrated a robot and Scratch computer:

"Dad, do teachers make a lot of money? Because their job seems important."

Me: They do alright. Principals make more though.

Him: Really? Why?

Me: That's just how school administration works. They oversee things, have advanced degrees, and make more money.

The Best (and Worst) Books I Read in 2022 - A List

 In Other Words, ALL 48 Books I Read in 2022, Ranked by How Much I Liked Them or Can Remember Them, Which May or May Not Be Related

Here's my annual list of every book I've read in 2022, and yes, most of them were audiobooks, and yes, listening to audiobooks counts as reading. This is a debate I've been having with my wife for years, which was finally resolved this year when I asked a librarian and she said, "Yes, it most definitely counts. There's been studies that show the same part of your brain is activated when listening to books or reading them with your eyes."

So, at least one argument won in 2022. It was a good year.

The Best Books I Read in 2022 (From best to worst. Highly recommend any book in the top 30, or any book with a description that sounds good to you.)

1. John Henry Days - Colson Whitehead

In this biting novel a jaded group of New York journalists cover a "John Henry Days" event in West Virginia. Cultures clash and the cynical nature of professional writers is on full display. It's delicious.  

2. The Nineties - Chuck Klosterman

A beautiful, funny, and enlightening nostalgic road trip into the popular culture of the decade that shaped folks like me - and probably you, if you're reading this.

3. The Four Tendencies - Gretchen Rubin

Are you an Upholder, Questioner, Obliger, or Rebel? This self-help book may sound cheesy, but Rubin, a veteran of light non-fiction books like The Happiness Project, seems to have stumbled upon something that is - dare I say - somewhat profound - narrowing people into these four personality types may actually helps us all get along. At the very least, it has helped me become less judgmental and altered the way I see my own motivations. Seriously.

4. The Other Black Girl - Zakiya Dalila Harris

A mysterious, subversive novel about the complexities of modern day racism, microaggressions, and "fitting in" as a Black woman in the white publishing world. If that weren't enough, it's also such a page-turning horror/sci-fi thriller that you might not notice any of those things I mentioned.

5. 4000 Weeks: Time Management for Mortals - Oliver Burkeman

4000 weeks is the amount of time in the average lifetime. Yes, that's it. This sly book explains whey that's' both depressing and relieving - basically, we should feel lucky for the time we have, and yet, realize that we won't be able to do everything - not even close. And that's OK. Really.

6. How to Be Perfect: The Correct Answer to Every Moral Question - Michael Schur

A humorous and thorough guide to moral philosophy and how it can apply to our daily lives by the creator of The Good Place (and Parks and Recreation, and Brooklyn Nine-Nine). Schur did extensive research on moral philosophy for The Good Place, then wrote this book. The audiobook is read by the cast of the show - I highly recommend it. Plus, listening is reading.

7. The United States of Beer: The True Tale of How Beer Conquered America, From B.C. to Budweiser and Beyond - Dane Huckelbridge

One of the best histories of beer and honestly, one of the best general United States History book I've ever read. No, seriously, Huckelbridge frames US history around a beverage, and is able to intertwine many major events, economic shifts, the impact of natural disasters and urbanization in a fun, light way the makes you appreciate how food and beverage is tied to our American heritage, and makes you want to drink a good beer...or three.

8. Alright, Alright, Alright: The Oral History of Richard Linklater's Dazed and Confused - Melissa Maerz 

"Are you cool, man?" After this 400 page book of interviews, you'll know pretty much everything about Dazed and Confused. And want to watch it again (and every year), and want to pass this book on.  If you're cool.

9. Happy-Go-Lucky - David Sedaris

Yes, I read everything Sedaris comes out with, and so should you. Sedaris's newest book is solid, with pieces on his father's death and the pandemic, and other serious topics he somehow makes both humorous and touching.

10. The Circle - Dave Eggers

Feels like 1984 meets Minority Report meets The Social Network in this indictment of social media, the tech industry, the expansion of cameras, facial recognition, and the loss of privacy, all cleverly wrapped up in an intense thriller.

11. Rodham - Curtis Sittenfeld

In this alternative history, what if Hillary had NOT married Bill, and instead lead a successful, single career of her own? The answer: many good things, including embracing her Midwest background and speaking more candidly. The author seems to channel the thoughts of people like Hillary and Bill, thoughts they'd never admit. "Do you know how easy it would be just to be rich and get out of the public eye? We're actually trying to do some good here." Elite politicians don't say stuff like that in public in real life, but damn if that doesn't explain how so many of them act. 

12. Wow, No Thank You.: Essays - Samantha Irby

Irby is basically David Sedaris if he were a self-described "overweight," bisexual, Black woman. They both write extremely humorous essays that will unexpectedly tug your heartstrings and challenge your own notions of what is normal, acceptable, and what it is to be human.

13. San Fransicko: Why Progressives Ruin Cities - Michael Shellenberger

An overly-provocative title for a reasonable examination of homelessness. A friend of mine challenged me to read a few books this year that were the polar opposite of my regular political viewpoint, and this was one of them. Shellenberger's take on homelessness - that it should be addressed as an addiction and mental health crisis first instead of a housing crisis - comes across as both rational and compassionate. At the very least, we can all be more open to alternative solutions from any side of the aisle when it comes to systemic issues such as helping those living on our streets. 

14. Dickens and Prince: A Particular Kind of Genius - Nick Hornby

With his trademark wit and style, the author of About a Boy and High Fidelity lays out the extreme similarities between two seemingly very different artists: Charles Dickens and the artist known as Prince. Hornby seems to truly love both of them, or at least, knows a ton about each one, including all of their (published) works. Finally, I have to say this: Wow, Prince made a lot of music. I mean, a lot.

15. Ghost - Jason Reynolds

Reynolds is one of the best writers around. Yes, he writes YA. So what if he writes YA? If this tale of a kid on his first track team - and learning how to fit in - doesn't move you, you may not be alive.

16. Apex Hides the Hurt - Colson Whitehead

A man who specializes in "naming" things for companies is sent to a town to give it a new name. In this meditation on the power of names, Whitehead's setup is great, and he intertwines forces that make up our modern society all in a small town - a powerful tech tycoon, a checkered racial past and the white "old-guard." Yet with a book leading up to the naming of one place, the results feel unsatisfying, no matter what possible name he comes up with. Maybe that's the point?

17. The Power of Writing it Down - Allison Fallon

We're all writers, and we should all do it...or at least, write journal entries. Fallon uses science and personal stories to back this up, and man, is she convincing.

18. The Long Fall - Walter Mosley

Mosley, in top form, sets this modern-day detective fiction in New York City, introducing Black private investigator Leonid McGill, who walks the fine line between doing what is legal and what is right, searching for that morality that lives somewhere in the grey areas.

19. Flash Boys: A Wall Street Revolt - Michael Lewis

High frequency trading has essentially destroyed the stock market, and yet, because people are still making money, no one stopped it until Canadian banker Brad Katsuyama decided to ask questions. Lewis brings that expertise in numbers that made Moneyball and The Big Short so compelling.

20. A Perfect Mess: The Hidden Benefits of Disorder--How Crammed Closets, Cluttered Offices, and On-the-Fly Planning Make the World a Better Place - David H. Freedman and Eric Abrahamson

Argues for the benefits of being a little messy, or at least considering the idea the some messes are actually helpful to us, and constant organizing can be harmful in its own right. Might be a little BS, but I'm totally on board with this.

21. Sag Harbor - Colson Whitehead

A meditation painting youthful summers in Sag Harbor, where the author and other Black kids would go to relax and grow up and return with their kids.

22. Department of Speculation - Jenny Offill

Poetic, humorous, and heartbreaking chronical of the first years of marriage, parenting, and her husband's infidelity.

23. And Sometimes I Wonder About You - Walter Mosley

Another detective novel from Mosley - modern and sexy and just a damn fun read. 

24. How to Be Less Stupid About Race: On Racism, White Supremacy, and the Racial Divide - Crystal Marie Fleming

Though it doesn't quite live up to its title - veering into memoir and racial theory instead of outlining how to literally "be less stupid about race" - Fleming's book is nonetheless an insightful and engaging antiracism guide.

25. Nice Racism: How Progressive White People Perpetuate Racial Harm - Robin DiAngelo

Famed white antiracism author DiAngelo points out that some of the most crucial work white people need to do to fight racism is the the work within ourselves. Especially attacks so-called "progressive" white people to do more than performative racial work.

26. The Last Lecture - Randy Pausch

Based on his actual "last lecture," Pausch cranks out a quick memoir in his last few months on Earth and disposes some wisdom, some humor, and mostly advice to "follow your childhood dreams."

27. Well, That Escalated Quickly: Memoirs and Mistakes of an Accidental Activist - Franchesca Ramsey 

Memoir on how Ramsey came to prominence as a Youtube creator, internet show host, eventual activist, and constant recipient of a barrage of online hateful comments. Shows how awful the online world can be for, well, everyone. If you didn't want to get rid of your social media accounts before this book, it's guaranteed you will after you finish it.

28. High Conflict: Why We Get Trapped and How We Get Out - Amanda Ripley

Ripley makes the case for truly listeningto ine another and realizing all issues only have more than two sides?

29. Cinnamon Kiss - Walter Mosley

Am I a huge Walter Mosley fan? Yes. And you should be too, if you like detective fiction. This Easy Rawlins novel - like Devil in a Blue Dress has the lead detective tromping through 1960s San Francisco and LA, with all the usual obstacles - tantalizing suspects, strange rich benefactors, and ex-Nazis.

30. An Abolitionist's Handbook: 12 Steps to Changing Yourself and the World - Patrice Cullors

Cullers lays out the problems with organizing, and the challenge to stay in the movement.

31. Think Again: The Power of Knowing What You Don't Know - Adam Grant

Psychologist explains how to open our mind to opposing views, and not hold on to our own beliefs so tightly because they just might be wrong. 

32. Patina - Jason Reynolds

Second book in the "Track" series from Reynolds. Not as good off the starting line as Ghost, but once Patina gets going, it's another heartwarming YA tale that deals with family, growing up, race, and so much more.

33. Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life - Susan David

Being flexible in our thinking helps a lot. Seems like all the nonfiction books I'm reading this year have this general thing. I'll consider it a sign. Or I won't, because I'm flexible.

34. The Undoing Project - Michael Lewis

If you believe A is better than B, and B is better than C, you should believe A is better than C, right? Nope. The author of Moneyball tackles the biographies of two Israeli psychologists, their life stories, the ups and downs and eventually dissolution of their partnership, and how their theories about the irrational actions of individuals have influenced multiple disciplines...and contradicted much of what Moneyball was all about. 

35. Counting Descent - Clint Smith

Sharp collection of poems by Smith, who wrote the best book I read last year (How the Word is Passed)

36. Freedom is a Constant Struggle - Angela Y. Davis

Series of lectures given by Angela Davis linking struggles in Palestine with the U.S., and reflecting on what makes a "terrorist." Intellectual and enlightening, if not a bit repetitive as many speeches cover the same material.

37. Unwinding Anxiety: New Science Shows How to Break the Cycles of Worry and Fear to Heal Your Mind - Judson Brewer

Turns out I read a few self-help books this year. In this one, Dr. Brewer examines what makes us anxious and what we can do about it. Some of this is useful, some is theoretical, but overall, it's all interesting.

38. How to Argue With a Racist: What Our Genes Do (and Don't) Say About Human Difference - Adam Rutherford

I was extremely excited by the title only to be a bit let down. This is a not a book about arguments, but actually a geneticist explaining how genes have little if nothing to do with the creation of racial categories or how we see race today. 

39. Obama's BlackBerry - Kasper Hauser

Cute, quick, humor read: Fictitious messages that might have been on Obama's phone. Written before the Trump era, with jokes about Joe Biden being a slacker, Bill Clinton being a womanizer, and Obama getting revenge at Hillary for their grueling primary by having her fly coach as Secretary of State. So, yeah, some fun stuff...from a different era.

40. Natural Causes: An Epidemic of Wellness, the Certainty of Dying, and Killing Ourselves to Live Longer - Barbara Ehrenreich

From lauded sociologist and trained biological science professor Ehrenreich, I thought this would be a condemnation of over-testing in the medical community, and overpromises in the fitness community, and in a way it is, and in another way it's a bit of a rambling book showing that science is indeed complicated.

41. The Colossus of New York - Colson Whitehead

Odd, poetry-like book capturing more of the feeling of different aspects of New York City with short lines about things we might think or hear. My least-favorite Whitehead book, and with this, yes, I've read them all. Back pats are welcome.

42. Happier at Home - Gretchen Rubin

Follow up to her far more intriguing The Happiness Project, Rubin dishes on how to make your home a happier place. And...it's kinda interesting? I'm always intrigued by self-help books, but this one was all over the place.

43. Poke the Box- Seth Godin

Short and quick motivational read reminding us to try new things in business, like, all the time..

44. Woke Racism - John McWhorter

Another book recommended by a friend to challenge my politics, this one was far less effective than San Fransicko. And yet, I ended up agreeing with a lot of what McWhorter argues. (Here's a little more, in case my friend reads this.) 

Marks against it for lengthy straw-man attacks on a broad "woke" culture. Maybe because I'm not in the media or academia, but I don't encounter this type of thinking, and so need evidence of its pervasiveness. McWhorter attacks what seems like a very narrowly conceptualized, homogenous group of liberals that allegedly control most of media and politics, and yet offers no real description or evidence of the existence of this group. 

On the plus side, McWhorter offers some interesting ideas on how to tackle racism: Essentially, it's useless to spend time renaming schools and roads, and we should instead end the War on Drugs, and concentrate on teaching kids how to read above all else by using phonics (he's a Linguistics Professor, after all). He also champions vocational schools, like a lot of educational reformers. Strangely, he doesn't mention Booker T Washington, because this platform is nearly identical to one that Washington proposed 120 years ago. 

While McWhorter's theories aren't bad, but they're not new either, and make an odd fit with his virulent attack on "wokeness." Sure, increase vocational schools along with everything else...but how do you prevent racism to not immediatly associate those schools for all non-white people? And what exactly is wrong with trying to make the world a little less racist? 

45. Raymond Chandler Speaks - Raymond Chandler

Collection of letters from one of the masters of detective fiction. Some insight into writing, Hollywood in the 1940s, and other curiosities probably only hard-core Chandler fans like myself would enjoy. And so I definitely enjoyed it, but it's not for everyone.

46. Letters to My White Male Friends - Dax-Devlon Ross

More a short explanation of the urgency and totality of today's racism than "letters," Ross makes an thorough case for the weakness in half-measures to cure racism, and good intentions not followed through, especially when it comes to corporate American culture and non-profit organizations.

47. Still Just a Geek - Wil Wheaton

This is Wheaton’s original memoir (Just a Geek) from 20 years ago with footnotes and comments on where he went wrong, including calling himself out on homophobia and sexism. Intriguing idea, and i enjoyed it fir a while, but after 200 pages it got a little repetitive, and it's very dense - like reading two books at once. Actually, it's exactly like reading two books at once.

48. A Visit from the Goon Squad - Jennifer Egan

Picked up this book due to its critical acclaim, and maybe my expectations were too high, or maybe it was lack of interest in the characters, but I couldn't even get through 100 pages of this book about callous, careless people in the music industry

And...that's it!

Disagree? Curious? Recommendations for this year? You probably know how to reach me.

-E