Five Skills Parents Have That Non-Parents Don't Have

Thought I've only been a father for six months, I'm beginning to realize that parenthood is not just about raising a kid, it's about acquiring new skills.

In other words, parents are walking around with skills that non-parents don't even know exist.  

1. We Can Do Everything Faster

Everything.*  Seriously.

2.  We Can Do Everything Quieter

We move fast (see #1) but also, silently...so we don't wake the baby.  In other words, you become part ninja when you become a parent.

3. We Can Function on Less Sleep

I mean, a tiny amount of sleep.  It's even LESS for New Moms.  In fact, I don't have anything to complain about, and non-parents have less then nothing to complain about when it comes to sleep deprivation.  LESS THAN NOTHING!!1!

4. We Can Drink You Under the Table Any Day of the Week

I mean, Monday thru Friday, beginning around 6pm - the moment that baby goes to sleep.  Sometimes a little before.

5. We Get Important Things Done

Procrastination is for chumps and/or people without a kid.

When ten minutes frees up - holy shit, I have ten free minutes? - we get things done.  Unless we want to catch up on some extra sleep.

...

And so, if you needed another reason to have a baby, you now have five.

Have a kid.  Gain more skills.

Seriously.

-ND

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* Yes, that.  And that.  And even, that.